Turn your Support Team into TOTAL ABSOLUTE KICK-ASS LEGENDS… with these simple rules.
- Only hire people that physically cry whilst watching RSPCA appeals. That way you can ensure their levels of empathy are suitable for support work (and they are more likely to own pets that you can borrow/visit).
- Keep them on a diet exclusively comprised of super foods, pro-plus and AWESOMENESS*.
- Start every day by singing ‘Eye of the Tiger’ in unison, whilst interval training in touch-typing. Beware, finger cramp is a very real danger and shouldn’t be taken lightly.
- Install a napping room that continuously plays an audiobook of the SchemeServe Help Guide (obviously cater this to your needs, unless you do indeed wish to subconsciously adsorb the inner workings of the SchemeServe software).
- Ensure every, yes EVERY, member of the team has a suitably humorous nickname. Any half-arsed or mediocre attempts at nicknames should be instantly discarded. Suitable examples could be; Queen Sparkles, Mr.Biscuits or Lord Tippy Tappy.
- Randomly send your support team edible gifts in the post – this creates a sense of unpredictable surprise and endless mirth, as well as keeping blood sugar levels adequately high.
*If unsure how to consume AWESOMENESS, we cannot help. You are simply a lost cause.
